It has come to my attention in the recent past, that video games aren’t my forte. I thoroughly enjoy experiencing the life of a gamer, don’t get me wrong, but, my lack of skill as a gamer and my inability to right click has rendered me a “lamer”. Regardless of whether or not I am able to perform an artistic ballet on the keyboard of my laptop, the game designers of LOTRO have made it possible for me to follow the LOTR story quite well. That is of course if the fifteen wolves that get in my path don’t eat me alive. I have certainly learned that ignoring an attacking foe is not the wisest of choices; they just don’t want to leave me alone. Like pesky flies, I ignore them at first, only to find that they have followed me for miles. I’ve had enough! I finally turn around to swat them away and in five seconds, the whole of Chetwood is feasting on my remains.
Now I have magically materialized in Archet (I wonder what the towns people thought of that trick!), only to find that I have to walk another thirty miles (a slight exaggeration) to get back where I was. Low and behold, the wolves are just where I left them.
After about an hour of game play and a marathon and a half, I finally reach, let alone find, the next step of my quest. Usually I can follow directions well; “take the road east out of Combe and follow the path, there you will find your goal”. Perhaps I follow them too well. I took the path and went east, only to be greeted by thirtysevenish “adolescent grizzly bears”, I wasn’t welcome.
So I wandered In search of the Brigand watch fires, hacking down every spider that got in my way (who knew they were that big?). I soon discovered that I traveled a little too far east and was indeed supposed to follow a path northward, about five miles into the woods. Don’t even ask if was able to ward off the Brigand Sergeant, Bowman, and Watchman in one sitting. Even if I attempt an escape, at thirty feet away their swords can still reach me. I would like to see one of you to wield a thirty foot steel sword! All of this walking, fighting, and dieing, has made me tired. I think I’ll make a trip to Quizno’s for a honey mustard chicken bacon sandwich, after all that walking I think I deserve it!
My apologies for having a dry sense of humor. I felt it was necessary to point out the “evils” of LOTRO, especially since my skills at gaming are so limited. Everything bad that can happen to someone in a game usually happens to me. Please do not take offense to my comments, not everyone has the innate ability to string together complex sequences of button combinations. I take the “button mashing” approach. I am however, excited to interpret the magic and wonders of what Tolkien has to offer in his work, and by no means will my gaming abilities get in my way. I can say one thing for certain, my aimless wanderings around middle earth have given Deltalion a nice pair of immense hamstrings!