No Sexual Healing

I can remember a long time ago travelling to Best Buy, and picking up one of my first epic videogames, FallOut with my brother. The game was phenominal, but there was one moment in it where, NO, boobs were shown. My brother and I were shocked. I can remember showing everyone of my friends this part, and each one of them giggled with joy. But I too, enjoyed the moment not because it was a breat, but because it was one of the first times in gaming that nudity was shown.

My mother was not so excited about this scene, and took awy my favorite game. This happened around the country, and in 2003, some action was taken to prevent this “titty-giggling”(as my dad called it) from occuring ever again. The ESRB, a group that has been rating games since 1994, was placed in charge by congress to keep this titty-giggling away from anyone under the age of 17. Yes, they stuck now got to print their stickers on the bottom right corner of EVERY game that went into the market, congress-mandated even. Now the checkout guy, that 16 year old boy, had the gall to ask me, 2 years his minor, for an Id to purchase Diablo, because the succubi on levels 17-23 of the dungeon had their breasts exposed? No, no checkout boy, i have the freedom to buy what I want……because my sister who had an ID was there. So a lull came over the sex market in the gaming industry, and Zelda and Peach were once again the sex symbols of gaming. 

But the gaming market has changed since then, and sex has been littered everywhere. From the top grossing game of 2003, Grand theft Auto: San Andreas, to the newly released epic Bmx XXX, sex has pivoted itself into the gaming industry. Lara Croft saw her boobs increase three cup sizes from her original game, and become the goddess of gaming. Dead or Alive 3, a popular fighting game, boasted no female fighter with under  C cup. Sex has arrived into gaming, my friends.

But there is a hole in the gaming world, and that is in the MMO field. The object of the MMO producer is to attract as many palyer as it can, earning the most subscriptions, and therefore raking in the most cash. In order to do this, mommy can’t be stealing away the game and cancelling the subscription if she finds any titty-giggling. So these online games have been stripped of blatent sex. You cannot sign on to any MMO and interact in such a way that suggests sex at all. In the most popular MMO, World of Warcraft, the option of ducking down was taken out in Beta in order to prevent the overtly sexual act of “teabagging” that had become popular in other MMOs (DAOC), and Halo of the day. No teabagging for 11 year old jimmy after a whooping dispensed to his foe. To leave this element out creates a much larger demograph for the game. In the end, this is what matters to the producers, and that’s how games will be created until a more profitable way of selling to niches is found. Until then, our online worlds will stay PG.

Matt Shelton


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