By Colin Doberstein
This is not what I intended to blog about. I was in the midst of wrapping up a straightforward piece on how Twin Galaxies mastermind Walter Day was essentially Saruman, when a new thought nearly blew my mind. If Walter was Saruman, that essentially made Billy Sauron, Steve Frodo, Steve’s wife Sam, Roy Schildt… and that’s where I stopped. Where in this mixed up Fellowship of Kong: Fistful of Rings world did Mr. Awesome fit in? He wasn’t really on either side, but he helped Steve Wiebaggins in his struggles with Saruman the Walter and Billy Mitchell (if anyone comes up with a good way of combing Billy and Sauron’s names, please let me know). The dark side of Roy’s personality did cause problems for Steve, though. What else was there to Roy’s character? He wanted his 15 minutes of fame, they were his, his own, and Billy had taken them from him, his precious, precious fame.
So I had my “eureka” moment: Roy Shildt is Gollum. He acts as a sort of guide to Steve (who is Frodo for the intent of this increasingly convoluted post), but his personal issues interfere with the progress of his protégé. He has two sides, Steve’s mentor (Sméagol), and the man obsessed with getting his revenge on Billy (Gollum). Most importantly, Mr. Awesome is obsessed with what was taken from him long ago, and now everything that he does is based on his bitterness at what he sees as robbery. Sounds like Gollum to me.
In conclusion, I’m still working on the Sauron/Billy mash up. Perhaps The Dark Lord in his guise as Billy Necromitchell? As long as we can refer to Mount Doom as World Record Headquarters, the rest can wait until next time.