What Does Britomart Look Like…

By: Max Mam

I envision Britomart as being about 5′ 8″ with long, dark brown hair and brown eyes. She is thin, but not so much as to appear weak. Very athletic, she possesses great strength and agility but is not physically imposing underneath her armor. Though she is very beautiful, she must hide her feminine features in order for her to pass as a male during quests. She wears ivory-colored armor and wields a snow white spear whose tip exudes a faint blue aura. Beneath the tough demeanor Britomart maintains whilst upon her many adventures lies a pleasant smile and a beautiful laugh. In some ways, she resembles Keira Knightley. Additionally, Britomart would undoubtedly vote for John McCain simply because he is her great-great-great-great-great grandson somewhere down the line. And we all know Britomart’s got her family’s back.

Britomart’s speech pattern implements many old English speech patterns and vocabulary and is thus far removed from the current vernacular in modern society. Also, she has an uncanny knack for having her sentences rhyme. Undoubtedly it would be great fun to talk to her.

Britomart: Most gracious noble knight, art thou not well? Speak what woes trouble your heart, I implore, for I shall smite those evils straight to hell, else in my vain process breathe nevermore.

Max: *speechless at the absurdity of the situation*

Britomart: What wretch doth live to thy voice take captive? By mine hands shall this evil be undone. Fear not, this villain soon shall cease to live. Foul sorcerer, thou shouldst make haste and run!

Max: *still speechless and watches in amazement as she runs to smite a non-existent sorcerer*


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