Bilbo’s Cracked, Frodo’s Cracking, and Sam’s Taking a Crack at Rosie

By: Dan Nockels

The three interpretations of the journey through the Green Dragon at Bywater varied mainly in their purpose and the desired emotional reaction provoked in the reader. In the book it is a method of revealing that strange happenings are going on in the shire. Also we get to see Ted the Hobbit kick the crap out of Sam at barroom chatting. Although in LOTRO the bar did seem boring enough that if one hobbit burned another that excellently I might have clapped too. Not in the movie though, way too much drunken hobbit dancing to pay attention to where elm trees are located in the shire. I’m pretty sure that the purpose of the Green Dragon visit in the movie was to assure us that Sam’s not actually gay. Although if they best they can do convince the audience of Sam’s sexual orientation is show him drinking and sighing at the other end of the bar from a hobbit chick then I am far from convinced. Still better than nothing, and better still than checking out Frodo.  Last and probably least in the Lord of the Rings online game I not only went to the Green Dragon, I went there with a pie. As the helpful hobbit that I am I was drafted to deliver a piping hot pie all the way from Hobbiton to Bywater without any hungry hobbits catching me. The hard part is that, as I learned from the movie all hobbits are hungry all the time, and Hobbiton is full of hobbits. After a few tries I managed to dodge the entire population of the shire and made it to the Green Dragon. Where nothing was going on, no drinking, no merry dancing (not even any Pippin dancing) and no pseudo-gay hobbits pining over their ostensible love interest, I was pissed